What to do with threats and triggers

Posted by Jessica Goh on 12th Jul 2020

Hey you,

Have you ever experienced threats or felt triggered in a highly toxic relationship and don't know what to do about it?

Here's how you can take back control by quickly identifying if you're showing up as a victim or a victor in any kind of relationship. 

This has immensely impacted me the way I saw myself and relationships by discerning which headspace and heartspace I was engaging in.

There are 3 levels of confidence that shape how you show up in any relationship.

Surface: Looking for a quick fix to avoid the emotional turmoil from within to numb out, suppress or escape your feelings such as forming codependent relationships, sex, alcohol, drugs, gaming, gambling, retail therapy, binge eating, social media and watching netflix all day.

Presence: Your vibe, how you come across to others and how others come across to you. This is engaged by the level of trust you have with your intuition to make choices that feels right to the highest vision that you have for you.

Core: Knowing your self-worth and live as it is your way of being. You express not suppress your feelings, observe yourself without judgement, you accept your healing is in your feelings no matter how intense they are because they lead and guide you to where you need to be.

VICTIM TRAITS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Surface: You value codependency over freedom because you fear loneliness. You're a sucker for validation and look for approval from others to feel your own worthiness. You tend to trust other people's opinions than your own intuition because you feel constantly confused and struggle to trust your own intelligence due to past experiences where you misjudged your own power. 

Presence: Highly anxious, extremely cautious, heaviness, reserved, defeated, withdrawn, closed off, helpless and hopeless.

Core: Denying your truth.

VICTOR TRAITS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Surface: You accept compliments with ease and grace. Receiving a new wardrobe and getting a makeover is an expression of your soul. You appreciate acts of kindness from others without having the obligation to do anything for them. You're grateful for what life has to offer.

Presence: Warm, open, passionate, light, magnetic and charming. 

Core: You trust what's inside your heart and use it as a compass to navigate your life. You have little tolerance for drama and chaos in your life. You know your boundaries and where you lie. You're not afraid to say no to others and it feels right to just say yes to you.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THREATS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND OVERCOME TRIGGERS

1. ASK FOR HELP: No matter how insecure you feel or unsafe you are in your relationship, you're worthy of support and guidance. This is your doorway out of harm's way. Contact any relevant free services that can assist your needs e.g Domestic Violence hotline, Lifeline, Women's shelter or call a friend for temporary accommodation or police if an AVO is required.

2. SAFETY COMES FIRST: Find ways how you can protect yourself by creating healthy boundaries in your relationship. Physical boundaries: Change the locks to avoid physical and sexual abuse or move out immediately. Mental boundaries: Block their number or change your mobile number to avoid receiving any threats. Your mind is your inner sanctuary. Emotional boundaries: Seek professional support and give yourself a certain time frame to process and heal from relationship abuse. A healthy time frame would be 1 month of emotional purging and recovery. Avoid anything longer than this as it can leave you feeling trapped into victimhood.

3. REBUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH: Identify the pattern that you have attracted in your relationships by understanding what form of abuse you have witness in your family dynamics. What are the ways forward to break this pattern or high tolerance for abuse that has been normalised to you and your reality. Things such as investing seeking the right mentor and cultivate a self-care ritual to recover from the inside out.

Turn loneliness into worthiness. Help is here. Let's chat on Zoom to see if my rejuvenating retreat or trauma recovery program are right for you to find yourself in trust and triumph. 

My services are designed to deliver success in rebuilding your self-esteem and worthiness from the ground up with desirable outcomes that are aligned with you. 

This is for someone who is highly driven and willing to be coachable by using their financial resources, dogmatic determination and commitment to make this happen.  

If this sounds like you, book your free private 30 min consultation here.

With Love & Support,

Jessica Goh | Trauma Coach & Healer In Relationship Abuse

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