How to attract a certain type of person in a relationship

Posted by Jessica Goh on 19th Jul 2020

Hey you,

Do you feel you attract or you're drawn to a 'certain type'?

Is it frustrating for you to feel stuck in the same pattern of relationships or no relationship at all?

Would you love to find out how to break free from this pattern and have relationship success?

If you said YES, this blog has your name on it.


There's are particular traits that pulls our heart strings to make us sing. However those traits that we're drawn to come from a place of unhealed childhood trauma where we're seeking validation and affection from toxic people who appear to be charming soon to be manipulating you to fall victim into their trap.

Here's a difference between someone who's a victim and victor in falling for a type.

VICTIM: Acts on impulse to latch onto the person for more attention in order to feel worthy. They are not aware that this comes from their past emotional wounds.

VICTOR: Feels the urge and observe if this is coming from a place of the wounded inner child where he or she didn't get her needs met in love from a parent or both parents.

The difference between a victim and victor is level of consciousness and self-awareness and what they do with this awareness.


Let me put it into perspective for you. The unhealed trauma from our childhood memories are toxicity we project onto other people. That projection makes you become vulnerable to attracting toxic people who themselves haven't healed their childhood wounding.

VICTIM: I always attract abusive relationships. There's something wrong with me.

VICTOR: I see dysfunctional relationships as a reminder of my childhood experiences being in a dysfunctional family dynamic. I attracted this person in my life or I find it difficult to keep down a relationship for a long period of time because I had an absent parent or my parents didn't show me what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. They were the role models of what love is and I can see it's fear based. I now choose what love means to me and that is being respected, accepted and truly loved just as I am.

Choose to see what went wrong in your relationships by understanding what went wrong in your family dynamic.


Heal your past to break-free from repeated mistakes. As soon as you can emotionally (not mentally) let go of your attachment to feelings of worthiness, you immediately align yourself of your truth which is core confidence. You experienced deep awakenings of yourself to snap you out of the fear of lack that there's no one out there for you and you feel into the certainty of what's actually possible for you. And that's real love. The kind of love that radiates from maturity, consistency and abundance.

VICTIM: There's no one out there for me. I rather be alone or in any relationship to feel safe.

VICTOR: I trust that being who I am is enough. There is someone out there for me who loves and accepts me just as I am because I now respect myself.

When we don't heal from past pains, we relive them in the present and future because it's a movie we play in our heads over and over again until you swap the old boring movie for a new exciting movie. That's where you can see and feel into a different way of being within yourself and in relationships. You reprogrammed your mind by trusting the visuals and sounds of the new movie. You can see clearly that the old movie was quite toxic for you to replay over and over again to the point where you realise this is what you have normalised as your comfort zone, to live in fear and lack because that's how the old movie has conditioned you to think, feel and live this way.

My services are designed to deliver success in rebuilding your self-esteem and worthiness from the ground up with desirable outcomes that are aligned with you.

This is for someone who is highly driven and willing to be coachable by using their financial resources, dogmatic determination and commitment to make this happen.

If this sounds like you, book your free private 30 min consultation here.

With Love & Support,

Jessica Goh | Trauma Coach & Healer In Relationship Abuse

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