How The Effects Of Childhood Trauma Impact Your Self-Esteem

Posted by Jessica Goh on 6th Apr 2020

Hey Beautiful, 

As we dive deeper into trauma and its recovery process, week by week, you'll gain more awareness, insider knowledge and deeper insights on how trauma impacts your self-esteem and your ability to act in life. 

This time, we'll go through the 3 keys effects of childhood trauma and the implications it has on your coping mechanisms, confidence and happiness levels. But first, let's explore what is childhood trauma and are you a victim of it?

Childhood trauma is distressing experiences and events that causes shock in the body and engrain emotional wound from pre-birth to the age of 8. In the next blog, I'll go through the effects of unconscious trauma. When childhood trauma is unhealed and not addressed, we bring these experiences into the present until it's brought to your attention to do something about it. 

Take this quick quiz below to quickly identify your current situation with trauma.

The 7 Steps to move from Trauma to Trust

  1. Are you aware of any traumatic experiences in your life? YES/NO
  2. Do you suffer from anxiety, depression or low self-esteem? YES/NO
  3. Do you seek help and support? YES/NO
  4. Do you find yourself stuck in being victim? YES/NO
  5. Are you dissatisfied with how you manage your stress levels? YES/NO
  6. Do you struggle with connecting with people? YES/NO
  7. Do you like to stay in your comfort zone? YES/NO

                                     Total number of YES /7

Which question would have the biggest impact on your self-esteem?  

The higher number of YES you scored is highly likely that you've experienced unhealed early childhood trauma that's running your life and creating victimising circumstances. If you're not conscious or not able to pinpoint it, take your guidance further with a free 30 minute discovery call with myself by sending an email to jess@lifeinconfidence.com with your best contact number and availability. Ask and you shall receive. Help is here. You decide.

Now, here are the 3 effects of childhood trauma that you need to know that impacts your self-esteem and the ability to manage stress:

1. Emotional resistance to change: Do you struggle to accept or embrace change? Do you see change as a negative connation to going out of your comfort zone to claim what you want? If you answered yes to either question, your emotional resistance is high. Emotional resistance is an emotional trigger or charge that you have towards a person or event which stops you from moving forward because you're unsure how to feel safe with let's say confronting a work colleague in the workplace or uncertain if you take the action to seek professional help with anxiety. The reason for this is when a child experiences a lot of chaos in the household such as domestic violence, molestation, abandonment, arguments between parents, criticism and abuse, they feel unsafe as see change as caution to withdraw back into safety. The problem with seeing change as a negative is you're stuck in playing victim because victims focus on problems not solutions. They let problems overwhelm them and lose focus on what's actually important and lost touch with reality.

2. Bringing past projection into the now: Have you ever felt triggered by certain types of personalities or seem to be attracting the same kind of people or experiences? If you answered yes, this means you have unfinished business with past experiences of trauma. What I mean by this is if you haven't got closure and grown from childhood experiences, the victim takes over leaving you feeling deflated, defeated and wanting to give up. This is why victims are attached to immaturity because they are stuck in unhealed childhood trauma. They blame people and circumstance for their pain to feed off the feelings of unworthiness to attract someone or something better. For instance, the constant roadblock that many singles face is attracting the opposite sex partner that's unfaithful, humilitating or disconnected so they give up and stay single as their comfort zone despite deep down they are longing for love and connection which they can't give to themselves because of the unhealed trauma stored in their body, contracting their energy and impacting their belief to meet Mr or Mrs Right. This is based on childhood conditioning meaning the first 8 years of life shapes your outlook on love and relationships dependent on the kind of rolemodels your parents were to you. I personally experienced loneliness in being a single woman and I attracted men who were emotionally unavailable, unfaithful, de facto, married and coming out of engagement where I was the rebound girl. Why? Because I witness time and time again of the breakdown in my parent's marriage where it was filled with betrayal, domestic violence, abuse and addictions where I felt if my mum is a victim of this, how will I attract a man from love? So every man I meet, I project my views of heartache onto them and they feel put off by my damsel in distresss energy until I broke through my past projection of men linked to my dad and saw the love that I see in myself to attract a man from his heart. This requires a series of trauma release processes and dropping off the victim mentality to fall into a loving mind and an open heart.

3. Childhood trauma shapes your personality: Do you ever feel the fear of being rejected, humilitated, excluded, abandoned or annihilated can overwhelm your logic in thinking and perception? If you answered, yes, you're most likely to be affected by childhood trauma. There are 5 types of childhood trauma that shapes your identity which are shock at pre-birth where you felt unwanted by mum or she was under tremendous amount of stress during her pregnancy with you then there's abandonment during breastfeeding or adoption due to the feelings of neediness and co-dependency to feel wanted. Next is during toddler phrase where being smothered by an overprotective mum confined you to be a good little boy or girl and lost touch with your sense of boundaries and struggle to express your needs and what's in truth with your heart's desires. From age 4-7, being rejected by your parents usually the opposite sex parent shuts you down from being touch with your emotions leaving you stuck in emotional immaturity and arrogance of being above everyone else when deep down feeling unworthy is still there. The last type of childhood trauma which can occur at any age is being seduced by your family, friends or outsiders where they have humiliated or took advantage of you and your purest intentions impacting you to lose trust in people and instead to be excessively controlling stopping you to let people into your heart and form genuine connections. When unhealed trauma is unhealed, it creates fear and dominates your life by the way to perceive things through distortion and wrong conclusions you made as a child. 

Does any of these effects of childhood trauma resonate with you? Shift chaos into confidence by taking back control at one of my workshops below.

How To Have Social Confidence and Self-Love Online Workshop

Overcome social anxiety and feel comfortable in your own skin.

Learn the art of building social confidence and deal with social anxiety and disconnect by connecting with you. This isn't an event on tips and tricks to strike a conversation to magically change your confidence.

This 90min of power isn't what you expect it to be yet leaving you feeling expanded with more clarity, connection and certainty than when you walk into the room.

When: Saturday 2 May | 10am-11:30am Sydney Time
Where: Zoom Video call - link will be sent to you after your ticket purchase

BOOK NOW

Turn Trauma Into Trust Workshop

Together, we’ve got this. Struggle no more. Feel supported and guided by turning trauma induced by relationship abuse and / or childhood experiences into trust, love and confidence.

Learn how your setbacks in your personality can create the path to your success in trauma recovery and healing and take back control of your life.

"Archetypes - a greater understanding why I am the way I am" Carly Watson


When: Sat 9 May | 10am-6pm

Where: Sydney

Tickets already selling - limited to *6 people only 

*During COVID-19 restrictions for social distancing purposes, access to bathroom and hand sanitizers and sprays will be provided for your use during the workshop and modified activities will be adjusted for social distancing with impact and results

BOOK NOW

Help is here. I now provide online support through private trauma healing sessions over the phone or by Zoom video call. Book in your first session now for money-back guarantee on your first session! Click here to find out more.

With Love & Support,

Jessica Goh | Trauma Coach & Healer In Relationship Abuse

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