I hear it all the time on my webinars and from my clients. So many people I've come across have seen a psychologist and it hasn't got them very far. Perhaps some had a better understanding of their mental health condition. And others felt it was a waste of time where they felt they weren't getting anywhere with a "how was your weekend?" or "what motorbikes you rate?"
Never waste your time in therapy again. And hey, there are certain people who need a psychologist for neurological reasons but if you're simply suffering from anxiety, loneliness or experienced some form of abuse then you might want to rethink how fast you want to breakfree from your emotional pain.
Here are 5 things that psychologists don't tell you that's keeping you stuck in lifetime of therapy.
1#: Talk Symptoms: The common mistake is asking the patient what's wrong and focusing on the symptoms of their problem but not the actual problem. Let me clarify, your symptoms could be anxiety, depression, or social anxiety however the actual problem is unresolved childhood trauma creating the symptoms to cover up the pain. So the focus of each session would be to talk for 1 hour about your anxiety and how to cope with it. This is a broken system for the patient which leaves them to see their psychologist for ongoing therapy because the actual problem still hasn't been resolved.
2#: The Missing Link: This leads to the actual problem which is childhood trauma where the first experience of anxiety or depression was formed in the first 8 years of life. This unhealed or unconscious trauma dominates a person's life and becomes them due to lack of awareness or consciousness. So very commonly, this piece of information isn't communicated to the patient leaving the patient feeling stuck in their blind spots.
3#: Avoid Vulnerability: The healing starts with your feelings. It's very uncomfortable for a psychologist to hold a space for the patient because their sessions are based on intellect (years of study and theory) not trauma recovery therefore they ask clinical questions where patients responds from their head not their heart. The heart space is where we hold a deep reservoir of emotions that needs to be released especially trauma. The body holds emotions and trauma. The mind avoids healing at all cost because it's there to protect you from danger therefore associating vulnerability as dangerous or harmful.
4#: No Real Solutions: General recommendations but no specific advice such as journal your thoughts and do things that you enjoy are quite vague tools for the patient therefore have a tendency to rehash the same mistakes. For instance, if I'm working with a client who is socially anxious and suffers from loneliness, their go to thing is avoid vulnerability at all costs and find ways to numb out their feelings. The typical advice would be go out and meet new people on meet up groups however this doesn't work because trauma is running in the background where that advice doesn't sit well with the patient due to the fear of being abandoned or rejected for their true self. This is a common theme that I see with my clients and I would demonstrate different healing modalities and exercises to calm down their nervous system to rebuild their confidence to then engage with people.
5#: Another Meal Ticket: There are so many people seeking decades and decades of therapy if not a year and not have gotten far. Instead some may be prescribed on medication and that's the problem to their pain resolved and yes there are some people who do have a valid reason to be on medication. However let me put it into perspective, I had a coach question me, why are you spending $29K on a 12 month sales program where it's been 12 months now and you still struggled to pay it off not seeing any real result? Great question and that's when my bubble burst.
That's the same if you're seeing a psychologist for a year (given you don't have any neurological conditions) and still feel depressed. Something is just not quite right. Don't you think? When we rely on the expert who supposedly an expert on paper and we're not getting far but we still need them for support, this creates a co-dependent relationship with the therapist. I only offer a 3 month program and I have no intention to extend that to 12 months because I believe with the right client, results can be delivered in that time frame where they don't need to see me again.
That's how you can measure true success of what actually works for you. However results vary from each person.
Turn loneliness into worthiness. Help is here. Let's chat on Zoom to see if my trauma recovery programs are right for you to find yourself in trust and triumph.
This private video call is for you if you're driven and committed to results and you want it now. You're willing to do the inner work and invest time and money to make it happen.
Are you ready to find your you and set yourself free?
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With Love & Support,
Jessica Goh | Trauma Coach & Healer In Relationship Abuse
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