5 Common Mistakes To Stay Stuck In The Childhood Trauma

Posted by Jessica Goh on 9th Aug 2020

Hey you,

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself the question, "Why is it that I feel stuck in the past?"

Perhaps you tried different practitioners, healers and coaches and still haven't got very far.

Or you haven't tried anything at all and don't know where to start.

So here's the thing. You need to know the 5 common mistakes that people to stay stuck in their childhood trauma. You might be thinking, WTF?! How is this relevant to my situation?

Listen, you're stuck because there's a reasoning to it. As soon as you become unconscious of your childhood trauma and how it plays out in your life and you want to do something about it, this is the start to becoming unstuck.

Are you committing to the 5 common mistakes to stay stuck in the past?

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MISTAKE #1: Can’t say NO and avoid rejection

Why is it hard to say no? Never underestimate the power in saying no. This is a common trait in people-pleasers and if you struggle with your own self-worth. As soon as you say no, you feel guilty that you're putting your needs first and feel bad for the other person. This stems from childhood trauma number 3 where you felt deeply suppressed by an overbearing mother who was extremely controlling, manipulative and overprotective where you form an extreme bonding with her. Her problems became yours and when this trauma isn't healed, you have tendencies to rescue people that's beyond your limit or you have broken your own boundary without being aware of it. This can cause a great amount of resentment.

Advice - How To Stop Overthinking and Anxiety - YouTube

MISTAKE #2: Override your intuition with overthinking

Over-analysis = Over-paralysis. You know the feeling when you meet someone for the first time and your gut-feeling says, "this person isn't right for you" and your logical mind says, "yeah right, this person is ticking all the boxes of what I want in a relationship." As the relationship unfolds you see their true colours and you realised, why did I ignore what my intuition was telling me? It's because you were conditioned in the first 8 years of life not to trust yourself. This comes from unhealed childhood trauma where you absorbed precondition beliefs about yourself in your family dynamic or upbringing where intuition is a fallacy.

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MISTAKE #3: Looking for the next relationship

I can't stress enough that this is the biggest mistake that anyone can make. This comes from childhood trauma number 2 where you didn't have any emotional bonding with mother therefore it feels like death to be single or alone. So to avoid feeling the depth of your heartache and rejection, you move onto the next person and immediately form a fling or relationship with them so you can feel praised and validated again. This is a toxic pattern of codependency. A quick to getting out of heartache but it will come back until you heal your childhood trauma. 

What Is People-Pleasing? | Psychology Today

MISTAKE #4: Say YES when you don’t mean it

This comes back being a people-pleaser childhood trauma 3 as well as childhood trauma 4. To attain this feeling of being accepted however you really aren't because they are accepting the people-pleaser not the person who you really are. The driver of being a people-pleaser is guilt. You feel the need to take on more than you need to particularly responsibilities and neglect your true self. That your happiness isn't a priority and serving others is. This is a false perception of your own identity. Every time you say yes to something that's not in your heart, you say no to you which lowers your integrity and self-esteem. 

Trying To Impress – appliedalliance

MISTAKE #5: Try to impress to get approval or validation

It's quite normal for us to long for acceptance and feel validated however this can come at a cost when you constantly try to be someone that you're not. Like being the joker or the popular person where you do things, say things in order to receive compliments, attention or affection. It's simply a guard or a mask that you present to cover up your authenticity and vulnerability that who you are is enough. No matter how flawed or imperfect you are. Each person is on their journey even if things appear good on the outside, you really don't know what's going on in the background.

Turn loneliness into worthiness. Help is here. Let's chat on Zoom to see if my trauma recovery programs are right for you to find yourself in trust and triumph.


This private video call is for you if you're driven and committed to results and you want it now. You're willing to do the inner work and invest time and money to make it happen.

Are you ready to find your you and set yourself free?

Book your free private 30 min consultation here.

With Love & Support,

Jessica Goh | Trauma Coach & Healer In Relationship Abuse

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